第20章 CHAPTER V DECISION (5)

     
     
     
     　　any wish in any way, and only thinks of what can\"t be helped. Are we togo straight to Milton? Have you taken a house there?\"
     
     　　\"No,\" he replied. \"I suppose we must go into lodgings, and look about fora house.
     
     　　\"And pack up the furniture so that it can be left at the railway station, tillwe have met with one?\"
     
     　　\"I suppose so. Do what you think best. Only remember, we shall havemuch less money to spend.\"
     
     　　They had never had much superfluity, as Margaret knew. She felt that itwas a great weight suddenly thrown upon her shoulders. Four monthsago, all the decisions she needed to make were what dress she wouldwear for dinner, and to help Edith to draw out the lists of who shouldtake down whom in the dinner parties at home. Nor was the householdin which she lived one that called for much decision. Except in the onegrand case of Captain Lennox\"s offer, everything went on with theregularity of clockwork. Once a year, there was a long discussionbetween her aunt and Edith as to whether they should go to the Isle ofWight, abroad, or to Scotland; but at such times Margaret herself wassecure of drifting, without any exertion of her own, into the quietharbour of home. Now, since that day when Mr. Lennox came, andstartled her into a decision, every day brought some question,momentous to her, and to those whom she loved, to be settled.
     
     　　Her father went up after tea to sit with his wife. Margaret remainedalone in the drawing-room. Suddenly she took a candle and went intoher father\"s study for a great atlas, and lugging it back into the drawing-room, she began to pore over the map of England. She was ready tolook up brightly when her father came down stairs.
     
     　　\"I have hit upon such a beautiful plan. Look here--in Darkshire, hardlythe breadth of my finger from Milton, is Heston, which I have oftenheard of from people living in the north as such a pleasant little bathing-place. Now, don\"t you think we could get mamma there with Dixon,while you and I go and look at houses, and get one all ready for her inMilton? She would get a breath of sea air to set her up for the winter,and be spared all the fatigue, and Dixon would enjoy taking care of her.\"
     
     　　\"Is Dixon to go with us?\" asked Mr. Hale, in a kind of helpless dismay.
     
     　　\"Oh, yes!\" said Margaret. \"Dixon quite intends it, and I don\"t know whatmamma would do without her.\"
     
     　　\"But we shall have to put up with a very different way of living, I amafraid. Everything is so much dearer in a town. I doubt if Dixon canmake herself comfortable. To tell you the truth Margaret, I sometimesfeel as if that woman gave herself airs.\"
     
     　　\"To be sure she does, papa,\" replied Margaret; \"and if she has to put upwith a different style of living, we shall have to put up with her airs,
     
     　　which will be worse. But she really loves us all, and would be miserableto leave us, I am sure--especially in this change; so, for mamma\"s sake,and for the sake of her faithfulness, I do think she must go.\"
     
     　　\"Very well, my dear. Go on. I am resigned. How far is Heston fromMilton? The breadth of one of your fingers does not give me a veryclear idea of distance.\"
     
     　　\"Well, then, I suppose it is thirty miles; that is not much!\"
     
     　　\"Not in distance, but in--. Never mind! If you really think it will do yourmother good, let it be fixed so.\"
     
     　　This was a great step. Now Margaret could work, and act, and plan ingood earnest. And now Mrs. Hale could rouse herself from her languor,and forget her real suffering in thinking of the pleasure and the delightof going to the sea-side. Her only regret was that Mr. Hale could not bewith her all the fortnight she was to be there, as he had been for a wholefortnight once, when they were engaged, and she was staying with SirJohn and Lady Beresford at Torquay.