CHAPTER VIII

      MISANTHROPYANDREPENTANCE

      August3d,NineOclockP.M.

      Therearedayswheneverythingappearsgloomytous;theworld,likethesky,iscoveredbyadarkfog.Nothingseemsinitsplace;weseeonlymisery,improvidence,andcruelty;theworldseemswithoutGod,andgivenuptoalltheevilsofchance.

      YesterdayIwasinthisunhappyhumor.Afteralongwalkinthefaubourgs,Ireturnedhome,sadanddispirited.

      EverythingIhadseenseemedtoaccusethecivilizationofwhichwearesoproud!Ihadwanderedintoalittleby-street,withwhichIwasnotacquainted,andIfoundmyselfsuddenlyinthemiddleofthosedreadfulabodeswherethepoorareborn,tolanguishanddie.Ilookedatthosedecayingwalls,whichtimehascoveredwithafoulleprosy;thosewindows,fromwhichdirtyragshangouttodry;thosefetidgutters,whichcoilalongthefrontsofthehouseslikevenomousreptiles!

      Ifeltoppressedwithgrief,andhastenedon.

      AlittlefartheronIwasstoppedbythehearseofahospital;adeadman,naileddowninhisdealcoffin,wasgoingtohislastabode,withoutfuneralpomporceremony,andwithoutfollowers.Therewasnothereeventhatlastfriendoftheoutcast——thedog,whichapainterhasintroducedasthesoleattendantatthepaupersburial!Hewhomtheywerepreparingtocommittotheearthwasgoingtothetomb,ashehadlived,alone;doubtlessnoonewouldbeawareofhisend.Inthisbattleofsociety,whatsignifiesasoldiertheless?

      Butwhat,then,isthishumansociety,ifoneofitsmemberscanthusdisappearlikealeafcarriedawaybythewind?

      Thehospitalwasnearabarrack,attheentranceofwhicholdmen,women,andchildrenwerequarrellingfortheremainsofthecoarsebreadwhichthesoldiershadgiventhemincharity!Thus,beingslikeourselvesdailywaitindestitutiononourcompassiontillwegivethemleavetolive!Wholetroopsofoutcasts,inadditiontothetrialsimposedonallGodschildren,havetoendurethepangsofcold,hunger,andhumiliation.Unhappyhumancommonwealth!Wheremanisinaworseconditionthanthebeeinitshive,ortheantinitssubterraneancity!

      Ah!whatthenavailsourreason?Whatistheuseofsomanyhighfaculties,ifweareneitherthewisernorthehappierforthem?Whichofuswouldnotexchangehislifeoflaborandtroublewiththatofthebirdsoftheair,towhomthewholeworldisalifeofjoy?

      HowwellIunderstandthecomplaintofMao,inthepopulartalesoftheFoyerBretonwho,whendyingofhungerandthirst,says,ashelooksatthebullfinchesriflingthefruit-trees:

      "Alas!thosebirdsarehappierthanChristians;theyhavenoneedofinns,orbutchers,orbakers,orgardeners.Godsheavenbelongstothem,andearthspreadsacontinualfeastbeforethem!Thetinyfliesaretheirgame,ripegrasstheircornfields,andhipsandhawstheirstoreoffruit.Theyhavetherightoftakingeverywhere,withoutpayingoraskingleave:thuscomesitthatthelittlebirdsarehappy,andsingallthelivelongday!"

      Butthelifeofmaninanaturalstateislikethatofthebirds;heequallyenjoysnature."Theearthspreadsacontinualfeastbeforehim."

      What,then,hashegainedbythatselfishandimperfectassociationwhichformsanation?Woulditnotbebetterforeveryonetoturnagaintothefertilebosomofnature,andlivethereuponherbountyinpeaceandliberty?

      August20th,fouroclockA.M——Thedawncastsaredglowonmybed-curtains;thebreezebringsinthefragranceofthegardensbelow.HereIamagainleaningonmyelbowsbythewindows,inhalingthefreshnessandgladnessofthisfirstwakeningoftheday.

      Myeyealwayspassesovertheroofsfilledwithflowers,warbling,andsunlight,withthesamepleasure;butto-dayitstopsattheendofabuttresswhichseparatesourhousefromthenext.

      Thestormshavestrippedthetopofitsplastercovering,anddustcarriedbythewindhascollectedinthecrevices,and,beingfixedtherebytherain,hasformedasortofaerialterrace,wheresomegreengrasshassprungup.Amongitrisesastalkofwheat,whichto-dayissurmountedbyasicklyearthatdroopsitsyellowhead.

      Thispoorstraycropontheroofs,theharvestofwhichwillfalltotheneighboringsparrows,hascarriedmythoughtstotherichcropswhicharenowfallingbeneaththesickle;ithasrecalledtomethebeautifulwalksItookasachildthroughmynativeprovince,whenthethreshing-floorsatthefarmhousesresoundedfromeverypartwiththesoundofaflail,andwhenthecarts,loadedwithgoldensheaves,cameinbyalltheroads.

      Istillrememberthesongsofthemaidens,thecheerfulnessoftheoldmen,theopen-heartedmerrimentofthelaborers.Therewas,atthattime,somethingintheirlooksbothofprideandfeeling.ThelattercamefromthankfulnesstoGod,theformerfromthesightoftheharvest,therewardoftheirlabor.Theyfeltindistinctlythegrandeurandtheholinessoftheirpartinthegeneralworkoftheworld;theylookedwithprideupontheirmountainsofcorn-sheaves,andtheyseemedtosay,NexttoGod,itiswewhofeedtheworld!

      Whatawonderfulorderthereisinallhumanlabor!

      Whilethehusbandmanfurrowshisland,andpreparesforeveryonehisdailybread,thetownartizan,faraway,weavesthestuffinwhichheistobeclothed;theminerseeksundergroundtheironforhisplow;thesoldierdefendshimagainsttheinvader;thejudgetakescarethatthelawprotectshisfields;thetax-comptrolleradjustshisprivateinterestswiththoseofthepublic;themerchantoccupieshimselfinexchanginghisproductswiththoseofdistantcountries;themenofscienceandofartaddeverydayafewhorsestothisidealteam,whichdrawsalongthematerialworld,assteamimpelsthegigantictrainsofourironroads!Thusallunitetogether,allhelponeanother;thetoilofeachonebenefitshimselfandalltheworld;theworkhasbeenapportionedamongthedifferentmembersofthewholeofsocietybyatacitagreement.If,inthisapportionment,errorsarecommitted,ifcertainindividualshavenotbeenemployedaccordingtotheircapacities,thosedefectsofdetaildiminishinthesublimeconceptionofthewhole.

      Thepoorestmanincludedinthisassociationhashisplace,hiswork,hisreasonforbeingthere;eachissomethinginthewhole.

      Thereisnothinglikethisformaninthestateofnature.Ashedependsonlyuponhimself,itisnecessarythathebesufficientforeverything.

      Allcreationishisproperty;buthefindsinitasmanyhindrancesashelps.HemustsurmounttheseobstacleswiththesinglestrengththatGodhasgivenhim;hecannotreckononanyotheraidthanchanceandopportunity.Noonereaps,manufactures,fights,orthinksforhim;heisnothingtoanyone.Heisaunitmultipliedbythecipherofhisownsinglepowers;whilethecivilizedmanisaunitmultipliedbythewholeofsociety.

      But,notwithstandingthis,theotherday,disgustedbythesightofsomevicesindetail,Icursedthelatter,andalmostenviedthelifeofthesavage.

      Oneoftheinfirmitiesofournatureisalwaystomistakefeelingforevidence,andtojudgeoftheseasonbyacloudorarayofsunshine.

      Wasthemisery,thesightofwhichmademeregretasavagelife,reallytheeffectofcivilization?Mustweaccusesocietyofhavingcreatedtheseevils,oracknowledge,onthecontrary,thatithasalleviatedthem?Couldthewomenandchildren,whowerereceivingthecoarsebreadfromthesoldier,hopeinthedesertformorehelporpity?Thatdeadman,whoseforsakenstateIdeplored,hadhenotfound,bythecaresofahospital,acoffinandthehumblegravewherehewasabouttorest?

      Alone,andfarfrommen,hewouldhavediedlikethewildbeastinhisden,andwouldnowbeservingasfoodforvultures!Thesebenefitsofhumansocietyareshared,then,bythemostdestitute.Whoevereatsthebreadthatanotherhasreapedandkneaded,isunderanobligationtohisbrother,andcannotsayheoweshimnothinginreturn.Thepoorestofushasreceivedfromsocietymuchmorethanhisownsinglestrengthwouldhavepermittedhimtowrestfromnature.

      Butcannotsocietygiveusmore?Whodoubtsit?Errorshavebeencommittedinthisdistributionoftasksandworkers.Timewilldiminishthenumberofthem;withnewlightsabetterdivisionwillarise;theelementsofsocietygoontowardperfection,likeeverythingelse.Thedifficultyistoknowhowtoadaptourselvestotheslowstepoftime,whoseprogresscanneverbeforcedonwithoutdanger.

      August14th,sixoclockA.M——Mygarretwindowrisesupontherooflikeamassivewatch-tower.Thecornersarecoveredbylargesheetsoflead,whichrunintothetiles;thesuccessiveactionofcoldandheathasmadethemrise,andsoacrevicehasbeenformedinanangleontherightside.Thereasparrowhasbuilthernest.

      Ihavefollowedtheprogressofthisaerialhabitationfromthefirstday.Ihaveseenthebirdsuccessivelybringthestraw,moss,andwooldesignedfortheconstructionofherabode;andIhaveadmiredtheperseveringskillsheexpendedinthisdifficultwork.Atfirst,mynewneighborspentherdaysinflutteringoverthepoplarinthegarden,andinchirpingalongthegutters;afineladyslifeseemedtheonlyonetosuither.Thenallofasudden,thenecessityofpreparingashelterforherbroodtransformedouridlerintoaworker;shenolongergaveherselfeitherrestorrelaxation.Isawheralwayseitherflying,fetching,orcarrying;neitherrainnorsunstoppedher.Astrikingexampleofthepowerofnecessity!Weareindebtedtoitnotonlyformostofourtalents,butformanyofourvirtues!

      Isitnotnecessitythathasgiventhepeopleoflessfavoredclimatesthatconstantactivitywhichhasplacedthemsoquicklyattheheadofnations?Astheyaredeprivedofmostofthegiftsofnature,theyhavesuppliedthembytheirindustry;necessityhassharpenedtheirunderstanding,enduranceawakenedtheirforesight.Whileelsewhereman,warmedbyaneverbrilliantsun,andloadedwiththebountiesoftheearth,wasremainingpoor,ignorant,andnaked,inthemidstofgiftshedidnotattempttoexplore,herehewasforcedbynecessitytowresthisfoodfromtheground,tobuildhabitationstodefendhimselffromtheintemperanceoftheweather,andtowarmhisbodybyclothinghimselfwiththewoolofanimals.Workmakeshimbothmoreintelligentandmorerobust:disciplinedbyit,heseemstomounthigherontheladderofcreation,whilethosemorefavoredbynatureremainonthestepnearesttothebrutes.

      Imadethesereflectionswhilelookingatthebird,whoseinstinctseemedtohavebecomemoreacutesinceshehadbeenoccupiedinwork.Atlastthenestwasfinished;shesetupherhouseholdthere,andIfollowedherthroughallthephasesofhernewexistence.

      Whenshehadsatontheeggs,andtheyoungoneswerehatched,shefedthemwiththemostattentivecare.Thecornerofmywindowhadbecomeastageofmoralaction,whichfathersandmothersmightcometotakelessonsfrom.Thelittleonessoonbecamelarge,andthismorningIhaveseenthemtaketheirfirstflight.Oneofthem,weakerthantheothers,wasnotabletocleartheedgeoftheroof,andfellintothegutter.Icaughthimwithsomedifficulty,andplacedhimagainonthetileinfrontofhishouse,butthemotherhasnotnoticedhim.Oncefreedfromthecaresofafamily,shehasresumedherwanderinglifeamongthetreesandalongtheroofs.InvainIhavekeptawayfrommywindow,totakefromhereveryexcuseforfear;invainthefeeblelittlebirdhascalledtoherwithplaintivecries;hisbadmotherhaspassedby,singingandflutteringwithathousandairsandgraces.Onceonlythefathercamenear;helookedathisoffspringwithcontempt,andthendisappeared,nevertoreturn!

      Icrumbledsomebreadbeforethelittleorphan,buthedidnotknowhowtopeckitwithhisbill.Itriedtocatchhim,butheescapedintotheforsakennest.Whatwillbecomeofhimthere,ifhismotherdoesnotcomeback!

      August15th,sixoclock——Thismorning,onopeningmywindow,Ifoundthelittlebirddyinguponthetiles;hiswoundsshowedmethathehadbeendrivenfromthenestbyhisunworthymother.Itriedinvaintowarmhimagainwithmybreath;Ifeltthelastpulsationsoflife;hiseyeswerealreadyclosed,andhiswingshungdown!Iplacedhimontheroofinarayofsunshine,andIclosedmywindow.Thestruggleoflifeagainstdeathhasalwayssomethinggloomyinit:itisawarningtous.

      HappilyIhearsomeoneinthepassage;withoutdoubtitismyoldneighbor;hisconversationwilldistractmythoughts.

      Itwasmyportress.Excellentwoman!Shewishedmetoreadaletterfromhersonthesailor,andbeggedmetoansweritforher.

      Ikeptit,tocopyitinmyjournal.Hereitis:

      "DEARMOTHER:ThisistotellyouthatIhavebeenverywelleversincethelasttime,exceptthatlastweekIwasnearlydrownedwiththeboat,whichwouldhavebeenagreatloss,asthereisnotabettercraftanywhere.

      "Agustofwindcapsizedus;andjustasIcameupabovewater,Isawthecaptainsinking.Iwentafterhim,aswasmyduty,and,afterdivingthreetimes,Ibroughthimtothesurface,whichpleasedhimmuch;forwhenwewerehoistedonboard,andhehadrecoveredhissenses,hethrewhisarmsroundmyneck,ashewouldhavedonetoanofficer.

      "Idonothidefromyou,dearmother,thatthishasdelightedme.

      Butitisntall;itseemsthatfishingupthecaptainhasremindedthemthatIhadagoodcharacter,andtheyhavejusttoldmethatIampromotedtobeasailorofthefirstclass!DirectlyIknewit,Icriedout,Mymothershallhavecoffeetwiceaday!Andreally,dearmother,thereisnothingnowtohinderyou,asIshallnowhavealargerallowancetosendyou.

      "Iincludebybeggingyoutotakecareofyourselfifyouwishtodomegood;fornothingmakesmefeelsowellastothinkthatyouwantfornothing.

      "Yourson,fromthebottomofmyheart,

      JACQUES."

      Thisistheanswerthattheportressdictatedtome:

      "MYGOODJACQUOT:Itmakesmeveryhappytoseethatyourheartisstillastrueasever,andthatyouwillnevershamethosewhohavebroughtyouup.Ineednottellyoutotakecareofyourlife,becauseyouknowitisthesameasmyown,andthatwithoutyou,dearchild,Ishouldwishfornothingbutthegrave;butwearenotboundtolive,whileweareboundtodoourduty.

      "Donotfearformyhealth,goodJacques;Iwasneverbetter!Idonotgrowoldatall,forfearofmakingyouunhappy.Iwantnothing,andIlivelikealady.Ievenhadsomemoneyoverthisyear,andasmydrawersshutverybadly,Iputitintothesavings

      bank,whereIhaveopenedanaccountinyourname.So,whenyoucomeback,youwillfindyourselfwithanincome.Ihavealsofurnishedyourchestwithnewlinen,andIhaveknittedyouthreenewsea-jackets.

      "Allyourfriendsarewell.Yourcousinisjustdead,leavinghiswidowindifficulties.Igaveheryourthirtyfrancsremittanceandsaidthatyouhadsentither;andthepoorwomanremembersyoudayandnightinherprayers.So,yousee,Ihaveputthatmoneyinanothersortofsavingsbank;butthereitisourheartsthatgettheinterest.

      "Good-bye,dearJacquot.Writetomeoften,andalwaysrememberthegoodGod,andyouroldmother,

      "PHROSINEMILLOT."

      Goodson,andworthymother!howsuchexamplesbringusbacktoaloveforthehumanrace!Inafitoffancifulmisanthropy,wemayenvythefateofthesavage,andpreferthatofthebirdtosuchashe;butimpartialobservationsoondoesjusticetosuchparadoxes.Wefind,onexamination,thatinthemixedgoodandevilofhumannature,thegoodsofaraboundsthatwearenotinthehabitofnoticingit,whiletheevilstrikesuspreciselyonaccountofitsbeingtheexception.Ifnothingisperfect,nothingissobadastobewithoutitscompensationoritsremedy.Whatspiritualrichesarethereinthemidstoftheevilsofsociety!howmuchdoesthemoralworldredeemthematerial!

      Thatwhichwilleverdistinguishmanfromtherestofcreation,ishispowerofdeliberateaffectionandofenduringself-sacrifice.Themotherwhotookcareofherbroodinthecornerofmywindowdevotedtothemthenecessarytimeforaccomplishingthelawswhichinsurethepreservationofherkind;butsheobeyedaninstinct,andnotarationalchoice.WhenshehadaccomplishedthemissionappointedherbyProvidence,shecastoffthedutyaswegetridofaburden,andshereturnedagaintoherselfishliberty.Theothermother,onthecontrary,willgoonwithhertaskaslongasGodshallleaveherherebelow:thelifeofhersonwillstillremain,sotospeak,joinedtoherown;andwhenshedisappearsfromtheearth,shewillleavetherethatpartofherself.

      Thus,theaffectionsmakeforourspeciesanexistenceseparatefromalltherestofcreation.Thankstothem,weenjoyasortofterrestrialimmortality;andifotherbeingssucceedoneanother,manaloneperpetuateshimself.